Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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