and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize