I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
