it wasn't lemon gatorade
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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