Don't make out with my wife yet
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
