Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
