i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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