For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
