I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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