Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
