When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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