So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize