Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
