christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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