drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Randomize
