I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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