quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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