He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
