Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
