is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
