would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
