i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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