i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
