did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Randomize
