Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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