I bet he comes in French.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
