I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
