Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
