no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
