We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
