Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We talked him into tasing himself.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
