I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
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He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I want her autograph on my taint
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
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Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize