I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
