idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
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