also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize