i can't believe i had my finger in that
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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