Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
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Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
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Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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