Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
