goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
