My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
soo... how was my night?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
