My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
babies were throwing up all over the place
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
