the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Randomize
