I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
