i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
