lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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