He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
