Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
