YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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