I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
