Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
