I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
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All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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