She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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