Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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