Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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