the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize