awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
